Cycling, we haven't forgotten about you.

The newly ordained Gamin-Barracuda wins their first stage of the year. And it's a TTT, so they get 2 barrels of crude oil each, too bad they don't ride motorcycles.
Alberto's been a bad, bad boy, like 18 months ago, and probably longer before that.
Kids, here's your rankings on this years kits....chicks dig the Argyle.
And if you have lots of time, you can check out the unusual combination of cycling and music. I recommend the riders sticking to their day jobs.

The USA women won thier tie,

-Star

Real Sports

Who's ready for some? This gal!! This weekend is the kick off of the Aussie Open (tennis) and the Tour Down Under (cycling). This is the time to be visit!!
So to kick it off here some what for from our favorite British cyclist that's impersonating a Beatle. Bradley Wiggins thinks little Mark Cavendish as a younger brother, and we all know how we feel about our younger siblings **pumping fist**.
So what's happened in cycling? Not much, the US has lost 2 teams. HTC-Highroad lost funding despite ending up with the world road and time trial champions. Radioshack hooked up with Leopold and moved to Luxenbourg and divorced Lance Armstrong, I'm sure he hopes they are happy. The end ruling on Alberto Cantador's positive drug test from over a year and half ago is still up in the air. Garmin is still rocking the argyle.
And tennis? I think pictures say it all. Roddick gets an atta boy for taking it to the fauxhawk.
-Star

...and a little bit of that.

We're not the only one paying attention to Jakob.
boo and my biceps are larger then Andy Schlecks. (boo put picture here).
The US Open has begun and almost perfectly, except Maria Sharapova pulled out the win. Welcome back James Blake. We've missed you. And Mardy Fish won, too.
-Star
Ahem....boo....picture....up there...

A little bit of this....

OK, so it's been awhile and actually a lot has happened in cycling. So a quick update:
In the Vuelta's opening stage Leopard-Trek won the Team Time Trial, putting Jakob Fuglsang in the leaders jersey. I believe he was a rider to watch for in the Tour. FYI: keep an eye out for him in Spain, too.
It's really hot in Spain, so Cav quit.
Tyler was all geared up for the first real sprint stage in the 7th stage, but got tangled up 100 meters from the finish and wend down HARD. At the finish line he went straight to the hospital, but was cleared after xrays showed nothing broken. So the next morning Tyler coughs up some blood, the team sends him back to the hospital, still nothing shows up so he starts the stage. After about 35 K he coughs up some more blood, so the team pulled his from the race. Still don't know if he was hurt more seriously then they thought.
Heinrich was in a break for a long time on one stage.
Dan Martin wins a mountain top finish with Wiggins making a big move up the GC.
In the ITT today Sky has ended up putting 2 riders in the top 3 on GC, and we saw it all on the telly.
Rest day.

In the USA Pro Cycling Challenge, for those that aren't on a rocky mountain high, Tour of Colorado, much happened.
Some young German on HTC won the downhill prologue.
Levi took it the next day.
Tejay took it the following day, whole Gorgeous George won the stage. Tejay said the Levi doesn't have the balls and can't go downhill very fast.
Levin brings the hammer the following day in a uphill time trial and make Tejay look like the young kid that he is. I guess not having balls makes it easier to ride uphill fast.
The last 3 stages were pretty uneventful, no change in the GC.
On the stalking side of the USAPCC, we got the #1 goal we set for ourselves, Ivan Basso, except I don't' think he really wanted to be photographed, maybe because I grabbed his arm to get his attention.
We wanted to get Pieter Weening, except we took a picture with Robert Gesink and some other hairy Dutch rider for Rabobank.
Dave Z was wandering around without a shirt. He has the Chris Evans/Captain America look pre-super shot down pat.
Flex had a run with the peloton up Wolcott Pass and then got yelled at by the Mavic motorcycle guys, so he stopped running.
Jude had a good ol' time in Breckenridge post race. She invited Danny Pate to Thanksgiving, shook hands with Fankie Andreu, didn't remember who Danny Summerhill was despite seeing him about 4 times within 5 minutes. We eventually made her take a picture with him so she would remember who he was. She got autographs from Tommy D, Christian and George Hincapie. She would have gotten Levi's too, but didn't have a pen.
Now we all need a rest after that vaca.
-Star

Pre Tour de France

Everyone knows who's going to win this year, it will be some skinny guy, probably not from America. But I have provided a list of riders you need to seek out in the peloton. They look best winning a race, but most won't even come close. So watch for them on the boring flat stages where the cameras spend hours scanning peloton, because real racing won't be until the last 10 K.
In alphabetic order:
Ivan Basso-Italian-Liquigas: Super cute, thankfully has recovered from having his face catch him in a crash while training in May. Could be in for a top ten finish, but watch for him with the heads of state in any final mountain finishes.
Fabian Cancellara-Swiss-Leopard-Trek: SPARTACUS! This guy will be easy to find, especially during times trials. He's the one in the rainbow jersey, with an engine on his bike, wait...that would be him. He makes Rogerer Federer wish he could be the coolest Swiss sports star.
Gerald Ciolek-German-Quikstep: Mr. Adorable, he's more of a sprinter, but will be the leadout man for Tom 'Tomeka' Boonen. So watch for him between the 5th and last K left in sprint stages, he'll be fighting for the front.
Jakob Fuglsang-Danish-Leopard-Trek: Just noticed this pretty, young one this year, so you might know as much about him as me.....hahaha, seriously, sometimes I crack myself up.
George Hincapie-American-HTC-Highroad: Big Sexy is tying the record for the most Tours started. He'll be helping Cadel Evans battle for the podium, but hopefully BMC will give him some chances to win a stage.
Danny Pate-American-HTC-Highroad: He looks like an elf according to boo. But he's a cute elf, that's taller then me. This is only his second tour and his last one almost him a stage win, maybe this year?
Yaroslav Popovich-Ukranian-Radioshack: Popo doesn't speak English very well, but when you ask him for a photo, he's very accommodation and as cute as a button. He is one of the few Shack riders that will NOT be in contention for the podium.
Thomas Voeckler-French-Team Autocar: Watch for him singing to himself, where he's riding alone or in the middle of the peloton. He's likely to attack for no reason and usually at inopportune times, especially on Bastille Day.

Now starts the best 3 weeks of the sports year!!!
-Star

Sports Monday Roundup

-At the Tour of Swiss Levi Leiphiemer totally Greg LaMond'ed Damiano Cunego, a la Tour de Frand 1989. The Little Prince did not collapse like Lourent Fignon, but I'm sure he felt like s(*& afterwards. But shout out to Tommy D and Tejay getting into the top 11. U-S-A!! But the Swiss did get their day, actually 2, thanks to Fabulous Fabian Cancellara who won the Prologue and final day time trial....I'm good with that.
-Wembledon has started and you all know what that means? Everyone has to wear white and eat strawberry and cream. Mardy Fish won, as did Nadal, Venus in her jumper and Rogerer. With a rain delay, extra tennis tomorrow.
-Texas is the first team eliminated from the Baseball College World Series....HAHAHA.
-Star

Who looks good wrapped in a rainbow?

This guy!!
Ok, I've been needing to post for awhile and Thor winning a stage is a great excuse. He looked good, jumped all over my favorite Slovokian rider Peter Sagan at the finish in the 3rd stage of the Tour of Swiss. There's 3 Americans in the top 15, but 6 stage to go.
In the Criterium Du Dauphine that finished on Sunday, Brit Bradley Wiggins won it all. He put a minute in the peloton in the time trial, then wouldn't let anyone get away from him on the climbs. Watch for him in France next month!!
Nadal and Li Na won the French Open. Good for them, except no one in the U.S. paid attention, which should be expected. Seriously, they play on dirt.
-Star

Tour of Cali stage 2

More Dave z.
Twelve-year-old Brit Ben Swift won today's shortened stage, no Donner pass. He rides for Sky and won the finishing sprint. Ok, he's not 12, but really he looks like it.
When Dave Z wakes up in the morning he pisses excellence.

Cycling update

I know, the Giro started last weekend and I haven't updated. Well, that's because the first stage I was going to update was stage 3, the same stage that saw the first rider die racing in the Grand Tour in 16 years. So, I didn't really know Wouter Weylandt, but watching stage 4 was the saddest stage I've ever seen. It's been tough to get into the mood of racing. Going into the first rest day we have Alberto Contador about a minute lead on the peloton.
The Tour of Califonia was to start today, but it's snowing around Lake Tahoe, so they've cancelled the stage. It's a good thing they moved the ToC from February to May 2 years ago to avoid inclement weather. Heavy sigh. But Dave Z was happy. Oh and tomorrow the route goes over Donner Pass, I hope cycling has had enough tragedy for now.
-Star

A new cycling year

so let's get you updated on the news of the off season. The Schleck boys have a name for the Luxembourgian team, Leopard-Trek. The team's introduction was very scarfy, which I believe is a major export of that country. But I think the sleeves of their kits should have pading to make them look tougher. And the newest member of Leopard-Trek is Jakob Fuglsang. He will help fill the gaping hole of cuteness the peloton will be suffering with the retirement of my Chechu.
Garmin has come out with their new kit after taking on Cervelo...it doesn't have enough argyle and it looks like a lot of other kits. You would think a guy with sideburns like this, would come up with something more original.
Others have spent more time and effort going over all the kits....good on them.
Johnass Bruyneel won't be around a few races this spring all because he can't keep his mouth shut. And that's a surprise because...?
-Star

Rainbow Argyle?

What would that look like? We'll find out next year and how a God can rock it!! Yeah, our favorite Viking out kicked everyone else to the line in the World Champions down in Australia. Now next year when he joins Garmin, he'll be sportin' the argyle in all the colors.
And congrats to our favorite Swiss rider for winning the time trial....4th in a row. He's really fast on a bike. And David Millar won silver, good on 'im!
In other cycling news:
Milram has dropped thier sponsorship, so no more kits with blue cow spots (frowny face).
Alberto Contador has got himself in a mess (heavy sigh).
-Star

Ouchie,

for those that watch races for the crashes.
There have been a few abandons, the worst was a broken hip.
-Star

Cycling run down

The stage today in the Giro d'Italia was a mountain time trial, 13 K's long, 1 K of climbing, with parts over 20%, and other parts were dirt. It wasn't even wide enough for cars, so the directors and mechanics had to ride motorcycles. Who comes up with crazy s*&t like this? Italians!! But one of their crazier ideas is to start the 2012 Giro in D.C., which I am totally ok with. Bring on the crazy ideas, believe me, I've got a judgement gun that can blow huge holes into any bad ideas.
Anyhoo the stage was won by Stefano Garzelli, Cadel put some time into Ivan Basso, Carlos Sastre and Vino. But with 4 mountian top stages left in the Giro, it's far from over.
The Tour of CA finale was on Sunday, which was won by Mick Rogers (which I've met, ahem...sorry, stalked before), second was crazy Dave Zabriskie, third was little Levi Leipheimer. And my favorite Canadian cyclist won the last stage! Ok, he's the only Canadian cyclist I know of. I wonder if he knows Steve Nash? The Argyle Armada was the winning team, as well.
What's the difference between Italy and California?
-Star

VINO...the cyclist, not the drink (updated twice)

Love him or hate him (and sometimes both at the same time) he's back. This last Sunday Alexandre "Vino" Vinokourov won the last Classic of the season, Liege - Bastogne - Liege. Much to the chagrin to some fans at the finish, and the media afterwards. But Vino's not going to put up with that, and will definitely add interest to the rest of the season (rubbing hands together).
On a note that makes my eyes sad, Karsten Kroon is having facial reconstruction surgery today. I know it's not a name I throw around a lot here, but believe me it should be. He did the whole "face catch me" with 70 km left in Fleche Wallone and turned into a bloody mess (open with caution). I prefer the precrash photos.

UPDATE: Karsten's surgery went well, with little to no scarring. It's a good day.
MORE UPDATE: The Mark Cavendish vs. Andre Greipel saga is still going. I guess someone will have a new team next year.

EVEN MORE UPDATE: Mark Cavendish is going to make this season interesting. This salute in Britain is same as flipping the bird in the U.S.
-star

Oy, Oy, Oy.....

I know everyone has been missing cycling, so here's comments from the opening stage race of the season, the Tour Down Under. How awesome of a sports vacation would that be, sisters? The Aussie Open & the Tour Down Under...one word - drunk!
Anyhoo, back to the race. Astana made a rookie move, they didn't bring radios to the race. So when the team leader (and defending champion) was on the wrong side of a break and didn't know it, the rest of the team was in the front and didn't know the leader didn't make the break. What? Did Johan and Lance take the "How Not to Lose a Bike Race" manual with them when they left? This is not a good sign for Alberto and the Tour de France.
Big George was looking good as Cap't America...he needs a cape.
The RadioShack kits, you can pick them out of a peloton, oh wait if Lance is racing, the camera's always on him....that's how you can pick out the Shackies.
In Europe there are guys in speedos on the side of the race, in the US it's guys with the flag as a cape....in Australia, this. I like it, just don't piss it off.
And Andre Greipel (Columbus) won the first 2 stages and is the race leader. If you were curious.
-star

boo & I can pick out the cyclist...

Just check out the top 4 on the World Championship Time Trial:
1. Fabian Cancellara
2. Gustav Larsson
3. Tony Martin
4. Tom Zirbel
No surprise on who won, but wow, boo & I are good. Just a few short week's ago we were hanging out in a hotel lobby and 2 of these guys just happened to walk by. Curious.

Check out Bradley Wiggins helmet...totally cool.

On a similar note, but slightly off, here's the reason that Tom Z gives for being hired by Garmin: "I think it's because Magnus retired and they needed a token big guy."

Cycling...it was a good weekend!

For those not keeping track at home it was a good cycling weekend. In the first 2 stages of the Vuelta we had some good-looking winners. The fabulous Fabian Cancellara won stage 1 and Mr Adorable (and yes he does have cow spots on his jersey) was an upset winner of the stage 2 sprint.
In the US Championship we had Dave Zabriskie 4-peat as the champion of the time trial. He is Captain America of the time trial and put all others to shame, the second place was +40 sec back.
And the big, sexy George Hincapie is back as the champion of the road race. He looks great in a cape!!

Cycling Update...

Well the cycling season is starting its last hurrah. The third and final Grand Tour, Vuelta a Espana is starting in Holland on Saturday. Yep, the Tour of Spain's first 4 stages are in the land of windmills, tulips, wooden shoes and blisters from hell. The Hollandite riders are very excited to be riding a Grand Tour in their home country, every other rider is dreading the long transfer after 4 stages.
A few notables in this most Spanish of Grand Tours:
-Keep an eye (and don't blink) on America's fastest man on a bike Tyler Farrar, he's been on a tare in the last few weeks winning Vattenfall Cyclassics and winning 3 stages and wearing the leaders jersey in the Eneco Tour.
-I will say that the Vuelta will be very easy to watch considering Ivan Basso, Mr. Adorable (Gerald Ciolik), Karsten Kroon, and my little Chechu are all racing.
-Alexander Vinokourov is back on a bike and racing. I got some mixed feelings about that.
-The Schleck are racing, so my judgement gun is out. They're really skinny, so I have to be precise with my aim.
-Pieter Weening's racing for Rabobank.....need I say more.
And the Tour of Missouri is coming up as well....more on that later. -Star

Cycling Update......

Since the Tour de France, the cycling world has been full of rumours of who's going to what team and who's starting the Vuelta e Spana (Tour of Spain) and Tour of Missouri (personally very interested).
But nothing can be officially announced regarding riders changing teams until Sept 1. But here are some changes that are going on. Chris Horner doesn't even know where he'll end up, but with whomever he's signs, Horner thinks they will be getting their money's worth. Kind of like the company I work for....ok, not really.
The Vuelta is starting Aug 29 and here's a rough start list. Tyler Farrar will get a chance to go mano a mano with Tom Boonen for the sprints, which should be interesting. They have Christian Vande Velde starting, but I've also heard he's defending the Tour of Missouri, maybe he's been cloned? Chechu will be starting for sure, this is the one Grand Tour he asks to go to, so he won't be in Missouri :(
And speaking of the Tour of Missouri, starting Sept 7, everyones favorite German rider that has a face of steel: !JENS! could be there! Oh sweet day!!! -Star

Le Tour...Le Fail

Not so much win...

Astana - rhymes with drama for a reason. Can't even began to chronicle it. I toss a water bottle of fail at your heads (except for you, Levi, and you, Kloden, and you, Popo).

Lance's butterfly bike - decorated with real butterfly wings - just cause you can, doesn't mean you should. "I'm so rich I'm gonna make solid gold bike shorts, look at me everybody" (say in texas accent)

That hole in the road that brought down Jens- not fair! not cool!

Cav talking.... or celebrating. (But a complete win on enthusiastically hugging his teammates, I guess if George is your teammate it makes it easy-watch out for his collarbone!)

Contador winning ITT - Really? over Fabian? REALLY?

The Schleck's biceps (or the place where their biceps should be)

Tyler's haircut- noooooooo!- to much time spent with russian bike monkeys.

George not getting yellow - I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just sayin' its a shame.

Frankie's lame ass interviews. "So, how'd you go today? So, how you gonna go tomorrow?

Johan's....well...existence.

The curb that broke Levi's wrist. Come on curb pick on someone you own size. -Star