Pre Tour de France

Everyone knows who's going to win this year, it will be some skinny guy, probably not from America. But I have provided a list of riders you need to seek out in the peloton. They look best winning a race, but most won't even come close. So watch for them on the boring flat stages where the cameras spend hours scanning peloton, because real racing won't be until the last 10 K.
In alphabetic order:
Ivan Basso-Italian-Liquigas: Super cute, thankfully has recovered from having his face catch him in a crash while training in May. Could be in for a top ten finish, but watch for him with the heads of state in any final mountain finishes.
Fabian Cancellara-Swiss-Leopard-Trek: SPARTACUS! This guy will be easy to find, especially during times trials. He's the one in the rainbow jersey, with an engine on his bike, wait...that would be him. He makes Rogerer Federer wish he could be the coolest Swiss sports star.
Gerald Ciolek-German-Quikstep: Mr. Adorable, he's more of a sprinter, but will be the leadout man for Tom 'Tomeka' Boonen. So watch for him between the 5th and last K left in sprint stages, he'll be fighting for the front.
Jakob Fuglsang-Danish-Leopard-Trek: Just noticed this pretty, young one this year, so you might know as much about him as me.....hahaha, seriously, sometimes I crack myself up.
George Hincapie-American-HTC-Highroad: Big Sexy is tying the record for the most Tours started. He'll be helping Cadel Evans battle for the podium, but hopefully BMC will give him some chances to win a stage.
Danny Pate-American-HTC-Highroad: He looks like an elf according to boo. But he's a cute elf, that's taller then me. This is only his second tour and his last one almost him a stage win, maybe this year?
Yaroslav Popovich-Ukranian-Radioshack: Popo doesn't speak English very well, but when you ask him for a photo, he's very accommodation and as cute as a button. He is one of the few Shack riders that will NOT be in contention for the podium.
Thomas Voeckler-French-Team Autocar: Watch for him singing to himself, where he's riding alone or in the middle of the peloton. He's likely to attack for no reason and usually at inopportune times, especially on Bastille Day.

Now starts the best 3 weeks of the sports year!!!
-Star