Stay Vitamized My Friend.

Oh Stevie, you are so fancy, with your red mittens and one of the non-malfunctioning torches to light. With your 7th NBA all-star-ness and Skills Challenge contesting. But your new vitamin water commercial makes me really heart you all the more-I don't know if its the glitter headband or denim tuxedo. Words really can't describe fully.

PS. Happy Belated Birthday Steve! I apologize for having to take a break, but you all (the suns) were really, really bad at basketball, I just couldn't handle it. Your 5 game win streak got me back, but losing the Portland? Really? 4 days off provide to much time to think of a game plan that can be described as "lets not really try, okay?" No Suns, Not okay.

TNT Checklist/Drinking Game

Pop your popcorn kiddies, settle in tonight and see if your Suns can break their 14 game TNT losing streak. Yep, that's all last year, plus pre-season. Not good. Also not good are the New Orleans Hornets without CP3, so the Suns have a good chance at this one. Here's your checklist/drinking game play along at home....

1. Kenny's tie knot will be slightly smaller than his head, only slightly.

2. Charles will make 3 inappropriate/racial references/jokes and only mention the Sun's in the context of turrrible defense...just turrrible.

3. Steve Nash with get fouled (maybe) not get the call (definitely) and will waste the entire next defensive possession yelling the the refs, gesturing wildly with arms & hair, and perhaps (if we're lucky) making glasses out of his fingers.

4. Can-Jez will make one pass that thats so ridiculous that you will drop your popcorn, not figuratively, literally- rewind your dvr and see it again.

5. Amar'e will play 33% of the game completely disinterested in defense, 100% overly tatooed and drop 2-3 easy passes.

6. Jared Dudley will be so annoying, you'll be yelling..."Mom, Jimmma is picking on us" but he won't be - that would be JD being the biggest pest you can imagine. His over/under for times he hits the floor is 5 (8 if its a blowout)

Let's go Suns!

Remember last NBA playoffs when I told you about Ron Artest being crazy?...read this.

Tengo Gusto del éne•bé•a

Last night Los Suns played the 78'ers in Mexico, NBATV covered it with Spanish announcers - I got to work on my non-existent language skills. "Muy rapido, Steve Nash". Basketball already? you ask...didn't the season just end? or maybe you ask "What is this sport you are talking about?"

But to get you up to speed - Los Suns traded The Big Black Hole of Marketing/Ego/Sucking for a dozen donuts, which I was calling for all last year, at the top of my lungs, just ask Theo.

But no worries, Steve is back and so is Grant Hill (sporting a fade hair cut - old school), and a bunch of other tall guys too. Including Amar'e who had to lay face down 22 hours a day for 10 days recovering from eye surgery - two things about him. 1. he has the tattoo "black jesus" on his neck 2. he's featured in Mad Libs.

I really want to do a Mad Libs about ¡Jens! - who's in?